Self-publishing Stress

When self-publishing, you do everything from write the story, find and work with an editor, select a way to publish, format and market your book. You research the hell out of the process only to find contradicting information. Stellar Fusion is ready, but I can’t hold my breath for something that might never happen.

I sit here drumming my fingers, waiting for the final piece to fall into place. Then it’s, hope I tagged it effectively, hope people look at it, hope they like it, hope I uploaded everything right, hope, hope, hope.

Stellar Fusion has been in the works since 2012. And now I have 17 other books lined up. hearttinyAnd I’m wondering if it’s going to have been a futile endeavor.

Part of me says ‘no’ because there’s still that element of hope.
The perfectionist in me disagrees. But I’m not perfect. Never was, just strive for it.

It’s a crapshoot really. But I refuse to cross my fingers, because I want to believe if it does become something, that I worked for it, earned it, that I’m capable of being more than just a shadow of a former self.

I hold two Bachelor’s degrees. Took me nearly 8 years to complete, but I made it. When I set my mind on a goal, it’s hard to break me of it. I can push through a lot. But sometimes I let that goal blind me to the truth.

My self-doubting judgmental self clashes with my unending faith that there’s an ultimate plan for every life. Some days they fight hard, other days they sit and mope in separate corners.

For now, I’m resorting to ensuring things are in line and ready. And after, I’ll have to take it for what it’s worth. Even if that’s nothing at all.

Hoping hard-work will pay off… for all of us.

♥ Elysia

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